im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
