you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize