she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
