I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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