After last night, I could never be a politician.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
