I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
