We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
