come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My cat gives me a boner
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize