Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
