She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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