Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
