I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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