You're my little dorito
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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