Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
