He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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