Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
50% drunk capacity currently
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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