Don't make out with my wife yet
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
