Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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