i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
