btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
