mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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