I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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