The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize