I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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