We won't sleep together?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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