What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you had me at cake vodka
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
