Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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