fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
