Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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