i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize