'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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