She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
