Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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