I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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