go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
