so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
