first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
