if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
