What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
