Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize