That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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