It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
