I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I need water and some morals
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
