I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
