I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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