Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
