someone threw a dead crab at me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize