I need help removing her.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
