I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
