he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
