Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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