WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
