Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
