I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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