the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
