i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
