So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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