What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
